As the first Shaving of a sawed-off-sportsman and for many years the largest and most proficient swimmer of all the Shavings, clearly I was the number 1 choice for a canoe trip down the Cahaba River. Now the Cahaba River is not known to be treacherous, but as in any canoe adventure there are “The Perils”. My number one concern had always been, “What if the canoe tips over?” to which my sawed-off sportsman father would reply, “So what, it’s all my stuff that would be lost. Besides, canoes CAN’T sink.” This back and forth went on for about two years. Finally, my sawed-off sportsman father decided that the best thing to do is get me over my fear of the canoe tipping over. Clearly the best way to accomplish that is by rowing the canoe into a secluded area of Oak Mountain Lake and then intentionally tipping the canoe over.
Now, my friends at the time couldn’t quite understand why an early morning weekend outing with my father entailed him throwing me out of a boat. My long-time friends and fellow family members knew this to be completely acceptable D&D (Daddy and Daughter) quality time.
So at 7 am on a Saturday morning my sawed-off sportsman father pulls into my apartment community in his white Mazda pick-up truck with the canoe bungee-corded to the roof. I hop in wearing cheap shoes, an old pair of shorts and a t-shirt, and a baseball hat. There was obviously no need for make-up or a brush since the goal of the day was to throw me into the lake on numerous occasions.
So we get to the lake, unload the canoe, strap on our life jackets, and set out of find a nice alcove. (It’s one thing to be dumped out of a canoe, it’s quite another to do it in front of an audience.) We find a suitable place where the water is about 6 feet deep, out of the line of sight, and near the edge of the lake. A final pep talk not to worry because canoes CAN’T sink.
SS: “On the count of three … one … two ..”
S#1: “Don’t count, just do!”
Canoe flips over and we’re both in the water.
SS: “See, that wasn’t so bad now was it?”
S#1: “No, not too bad. What were you saying about canoes can’t sink?”
SS: “Canoes CAN’T sink!”
S#1: “Really? Where’s your canoe?”
SS: “It’s right here … #%!?!”
Glug, glug, glug, the canoe sinks to the bottom of the lake.
MS-L
2/14/2007
