As the shaving of a sawed-off sportsman there are certain skills you are required to learn. Casting, trolling, paddling, snake/turtle/fish spotting, and pillow-case-holding to name a few. One skill that I originally recall being excited about was “driving” the canoe. Now, I had mastered the backward driving which is back of the canoe, facing backward, driving forward. The SOS let this go on for awhile (he was glad to have both hands free), but decided it was time that I learn to drive the canoe properly which is back of the canoe, facing forward and steering behind you. I was apprehensive as this meant paddling or motoring in the opposite direction that you really wanted to go. On our first lesson I learned three things 1) you end up going in the direction you are looking; 2) not all skills can be learned; and 3) things are not always as they appear.
We were cruising along and I was doing an OK job, aside from going the wrong way every single time Daddy SOS gave a bearing. He then gave the order to get “closer to the shore”. Uh huh. After a couple of “Daddy I don’t think I can do this” and some “encouraging” words - I turned towards shore. Now going “towards” something and “barreling down” on it are very different things. Unfortunately I turned the canoe directly at the shore line and went full speed. (Granted, full speed in a canoe with a motor powered by a car battery isn’t much, but in this case it was enough.) Too late Dad realizes my ‘towards’ vs. ‘barreling’ error and starts barking out directions which we have already established I get wrong every time. I panic. I eye what looks like a friendly, leafy, tree that is leaning over the water. I decide that if we are going to crash that would at least not knock a hole in the boat.
Unfortunately the leaves were not leaves. Locusts. Lots of them. Everywhere. Hysteria.
Lesson 1: you end up in the direction you are looking.
Lesson 2: not all skills can be learned.
Lesson 3: things are not always as they appear.
I have no memory of ever driving the canoe again.
MS-L
2/9/08
