17. Clarence just won't listen

I had the occasional good fortune to go deep sea fishing with a band of four who needed six. The format was a 12 hour bottom-fishing trip, out of Destin, with a captain who took his fishing seriously. Because Captain Harold had to drive the boat, holding it in position over the structure, he could not fish himself and therefore took the fishing of his party’s members seriously. He was alleged something of a grump who, rumor had it, once returned at noon and threw the party and their money off the boat because they kept missing the multiple opportunities he had given them to catch grouper and snapper.

As I did not know what I was doing, I was more than happy to receive instruction from the Captain who was a willing, though concise, coach who did not like to see the same mistake made twice.

The trick to catching a grouper of significant size is to beat him quickly or he will swim back into the structure from whence he came and cut the line. There’s just enough skill involved to leave one feeling that they had something to do with catching the fish the Captain had found. When the first grouper came-a-calling I reacted as if it were a bass and up came the line – no fish, no bait . The Captain leaned down from his perch and said “Let him have it longer”. So I let the next one have it longer and up came the line – no hook, sinker or leader. The Captain leaned down and said “not that long”. Over time I got the hang of it and managed a 40-pounder out of a Volkswagen about 90 feet down.

The problem child was Clarence. A more affable person I’ve never known which was good because when he wasn’t at his day job as the school’s fiscal officer he was down at the gym shooting hoops or lifting weights. Clarence was big and strong.

Clarence, a regular on these fishing trips, was in a love/hate relationship with Captain Harold; Clarence loved the Captain and the Captain hated Clarence (or so Clarence claimed). Clarence would attempt to cheer the Captain by doing things like wearing one of those tourist baseball caps with “Captain” day-glow painted on it. Unfortunately the Captain was a “…and it’s my vessel” kind of guy. Clarence’s evidence that the Captain hated him was that once upon a time Clarence hooked a big fish and the Captain gunned the boat forward which Clarence claimed was an attempt to flip him into the Gulf. I do not doubt the Captain gunned the boat but I am certain it was to catch the fish despite what he knew Clarence was about to do.

What Clarence was about to do was described to me many times before I actually saw it happen. The only thing clear from the description (because the tellers always started laughing so hard they couldn’t talk) was that upon hooking a big fish Clarence would back up and bend over, e.g. not proper technique. When a fish shows up proper technique (as I understand it) is to lower the rod tip from about 10 o’clock and reel up the slack until you feel the fish again. Then lift the rod up as high as possible and then quickly lower it reeling in the slack line as fast as possible and repeat until the contest is settled one way or the other. The point is to be able to use the rod leverage and show the fish no slack line so he can’t swim back into the structure and cut the line off. It takes some practice.

Then I saw what Clarence did. Fish hits. Clarence backs up (into the middle of the fishing area), bends over, and starts wrenching the fish up by turning the reel handle. Well it worked. After the mate gaffed the fish he yells up to the Captain “Captain you gotta see this”. The Captain had had his back to the spectacle (probably gnawing the wheel). The mate holds up the fish for all to see the deep gashes along its head where Clarence had pulled him out of the coral!

The Captain summoned Clarence to the upper level and proceeded to communicate. The conversation was so long, and we could not hear what was being said (but we knew it was not ‘good’) that when Clarence descended the ladder we all circled him and ask “What’d he say”. Clarence said: “Oh, he said I did great”.

Years later Clarence admitted the true content which was approximately “Most of these wussies aren’t strong enough to catch a great fish; you are. BUT NOT DOING IT THAT WAY!!”

Shaving 4 always out fishes me for bass because he uses those silly plastic worms. I tell him I like to feel the fish HIT. He, on the other hand, says he likes to HIT the fish. Which just goes to show it isn’t whether you catch or release but how you play with the game.

ML
12/10/07